Looking back.

Tittle says it all darling. Anyway, i was browsing my rant blog, as i would like to call it. Then i realized that before, this blog used to be very fun and lively. All my notes and posts were all about happy stuff. The emo cow, the mulan thing and the 333 ways to get kicked out of wallmart.

Recently though, i've been making it a vent box. Ha, don't know why i'm doing that. But hey, it works for me. So why do i care right? Wrong. I kind of feel sad that all i every blog about nowadays are sad and unfortunate stuff. They're all about anger, hurt and how my life sucks. I want to make it better. I'll try to make it better. Although, even though i say it a hundred times, i am still not convinced.

Well, i need to go do some academic stuff now.

Bye.

Why do you build me up buttercup?

Yes, why do you build me up huh? Why do you keep on giving me false hope? Tell me, what kind of sick satisfaction do you get out of it?

I asked, you said you'll try. I begged, you said you'll try harder. In the end...Nothing. I just never learn do i? I should've known better. I am so sick and tired of this so-called "Cycle" we go through. But even after everything, after you've crushed me into a thousand little pieces again, i still trust you. Or at least i did. I'll try not to do that now.

I need to vent. Sadly, i don't really think i have anyone for that. Not right now. Don't get me wrong, i love SF and Alejandro with all my heart. it's just that... i don't think i can be that open right now. I'm thankful though. For having this blog that no one really knows about. Well... not really no one, just a really few people.

Signing off now. Bye.

P.S.

I received another shiny piece of blue paper again this quarter.

Ugh.

This is really not my day... just saying.

Life sucks... just stating.

Someone cheer me up please... just hoping.

Forever alone.

ALT.

ALT. Angry Little Teenager. Mmm.

Alright. Uhm. Where shall i start? i've been wanting a normal childhood since what? since i was what five? Yeah, yeah. i know. dramatic right? alright. so imma spill. no. scratch that. they'll find out about this. trust me. they will. yeah. they're creepy like that.

And there she goes. crying again. diba ikaw na nga yung nagkamali? you were the one who refused to help. And tell me, bakit ikaw kinakampihan ng lahat? I didn't ask for this situation you know. I didn't want to be born to this.

RANT #2

I gave up my iPod touch for you. It was suppose to be a gift for me but since you wanted it so badly... i moved out of the way. You asked for a Mac book pro and now you're getting one. You get everything you want. Happy now? No. You have to ruin my life too. Great. Yippee. wonderful. Thanks a lot.

Forever,

Needing You

Deviaters.

Deviaters. Hmm. where shall i start? Okay, so i'm not going to say much because the person i'm talking about reads my blog. No, it is not you. At least you think it's not you. Mwuahahahaha. >:)

Okay, so TOOT doesn't care about anyone but him/herself. It is really starting to get on my nerves. When it doesn't concern him/her he/she won't do anything about it. he/she think he's/she's Mr.Perfect/Little miss perfect. Gosh, ranting is so hard when you have to do the slash (/) thing all the time. :)) fine. i shall stop. i've cooled now already. whooo. It's a wonder how blogging can help you. Yes, i am currently in my angry little teenager mode. :)

Forever,

Needing You

Lalalalala

---this part has been deleted by the owner---

The Bad part? Okay... so where should i start? Hmm. Well, i feel like a library. Everyone seems to be borrowing from me now. Ugh! So irritating. People who i'm not really close to seems to approach me and ask for my book. And since i'm such an OC when it comes to books sometimes i have to say no. The only person i lent my copy of the mockingjay was arianne. But that's because she's my friend. A close friend. And then suddenly this girl in front of me starts inquiring about it. and then the girl in front of arianne. Ugh. Why can't they just buy their own book? i mean, c'mon! It's better to spend your money on books than on cigarette or something.

Speaking of money... i lost just about 500 today. :)) Yeah. I have no idea where it went. Before lunch, it was in my wallet. after school? nada. The next part of this not-so-sucky day is that my iPod's bitching on me. There's this water thingy in the screen. Yes, IN the screen. :| BV much?

:))

I also got my math MQR today. Guess what? I got a B-. A FRICK'N B-! Ugh! i was so close... 2 points away from getting a B two points! I reviewed my portfolio and all. then i spotted it. Quiz one and two. that's it. that was the only thing that dragged my grades down. I so need to d0 better in math. I saw my Fil MQR too. it sucked. i'm prolly gonna get a B or s. Iomething. But that's not enough. I'm going to work harder this quarter. Like waaaay harder. Goal for the 2nd quarter: Straight A's!

The next bad thing? one word. Just one word. Dad.

Forever,

Needing you

Whoah.

It's been a long time since i've posted something here... Haha, i guess i haven't been in a foul mood lately. I just kinda use this blog to vent. since they say that keeping all that anger bottled up will do you no good.

So, how's my life been so far? Well, my grades are improving a lot. like a whole lot. Haha. :P I actually like social and science now. I guess it pays to pay attention in class. Actually, I'm exerting a lot of effort to do well in those subjects. I'm worried about PTC though. i want to see my grades so badly already! UGH. I think i would break down if all my efforts went down the drain.... OH! you know what? :> I only have one tardy slip for the whole quarter! ASENSO! haha, i know. nice. :P Although i was aiming for none at all. i guess one's okay.

My class seems fine. No scratch that. My class is AWESOME. I get along fairly well with my classmates. everyone seems nice and happy. And guess what? We have no "plums" in our class. so that's a major major relief! i also like the fact that we're not rowdy like other sections *cough*babycake's*cough* HAHA. :P

Oh crap. gotta go now. mom's here.

Forever,

needing you

Thoughts...

I have no idea what to do now... should i or shouldn't i call it off? i think i should. it feels like i should. but then i'm scared. Scared of what i might lose. Scared of the unknown. It doesn't feel the same anymore. The feeling that i used to love and wished that somehow will never fade... is gone. Sometimes i want to go back. Because then, i found a place where i can feel at home and be who i am without being judged. But that is merely a dream. I could never go back... and change what i left undone.

Forever,

Needing You